why wait.

Today was an interesting day, it went as follows: up at 6:40 , breakfast, gym class, school store to buy a book, my bed, watched two episodes of lost, skipped class, lunch at 11, strength training, class, shower, dinner, bible study, cardio workout, shower... uhm... yep. Longish day i would say... I am surprised that longish is a word... wow
Tomorrow will probably still be just as long, but without anything at night. Which is amazing.
Losing weight is extremely exgauhsting... Its really long, and drawn out.
I dont like that I cant see improvements quickly.
But one thing I do like is getting really sweaty... its a lot of fun, but only for a lil while, and then you must take a shower afterwards.
I am just really aiming for some stronger muscles and a leaner torso for summer, for rafting and camping. I want more of an athletic body in which muscles over do my body fat. Its gunna take a lot, and hey, I have like... 6 more weeks of school left? Okay maybe 7 but I am just being positive.
For some reason my bed always turns out to be a safe haven for junk, just plain old junk that gets placed on my bed throughout the day... i have a brush, a bottle of eye drops, an unused mug, a stress ball, three books, lip stick, a pocket nife, and a journal.... its just... random junk. OH and a pair of pants, cant forget the pants.
I am being such a butt lately... I am an awful person because of that... its just... AH I am a BUTT! BUTT.... a nasty thing in the REAR! its bad.... bad bad bad... but I will fix it!
I am so sure I will fix it.

Question: What would it be like to date a celeb? Probably suckish. I am just sayin.
Not dating is a funny thing- because I choose not to date, and no, no one is asking me out on dates, and I am not turning anyone down, but I think its because I give off the vibe that I just dont date... Its... not me.
Not anymore. Gosh if I counted all the guys I dated in highschool... it would be stupid crazy. So I have gone through the dating experience, i have. But I realize that I never got anything out of it, except how to break up with a guy and when you should do it... please dont judge that statement... its not my fault, its the guys fault for either being immature or.... Ya know what? It isnt anyones fault... its the fact that we are all so young at this day and age and I PERSONALLY dont believe that I am ready for that commitment... I dont know totally who I am, and I am not to be dependent on a man, Sure he is supposed to support me and take care of me, as the Bible says, but I am not supposed to rely soley on him... I am supposed to know who I am through God. And that is that... and I am still not sure who I am or who I am supposed to be, and because of the ladder, I do not date.
I feel so funny saying all of this, because although I know that no one reads this I still feel as though I am proving it again to myself why it is right, and sometimes you need to do that because self desires will get to you if you dont keep reminding yourself to move forward...
woow....
this is long.